Game 1. The Myceen Incident. Preperations.

As with all games, there is a preporation time. A period of moments where we can reflect, grip our fists in eager passive aggresive displays of geeky slaughter and generally lie to ourselves about how easy this will be when his guys aint got no shiny.

If there is one thing about Warhammer 40,000 that I have learnt, is that the all that glitters most often aint gold. Yupp, its usually overpriced steaming ass waffle, as I found to my horror facing a very typical Space Marine Tactical squad horde with accompanying glitter of shiny.

Bitter? Only in acceptable quantities. But Im getting ahead of myself. Behold! Below are the pics before the game took place. Ill be posting each turn as a post, as Facebook pointed out that these things need to be chronological. Much like it aint. Stupid Facebook.


His Army.

Rory. My latest in a long line of "wargame buddies," that not easily explainable amalgamation of friend, confidant, eternal nemesis and focus for my IC hate. Thats right Rory, my Imperial Guard hate you, and I demand my right to Prefered Enemy!

Rory went for the very deadly and tournament ready Tactical hoard of doomyness. Now I will admit, he didnt go nuts, as Rory, like me, is a sucker for shiny. Hence the two Predator Destructors. I mean, they wernt going to be a threat where they? Anyway, Ill let him comment on his choices and battle plans. Lord knows I didnt know what to expect. A space marine army has a main weakness in its size. This was NOT looking good!

Maybe I could bribe them...


Appart from labouring on numerous tactical marines, a predator, some rhinos et al. Rory suprised me with this little last minute number. Thats right kiddies. SMILEY! His very own jump packing, guardsmen wacking, chaplain with skull helm. He would be accompanied by a full strength assualt squad.

Say it with me: Crapple!

An over view of the dreaded enemy. Note the full strength devestator squad on the left toting missle launchers. There prowess in battle is legendary, evoking the nick name: The Lucky Aces. Named sarcastically on account of their accuracy being akin to an extended member of the Asshole family in Space Balls.


+++My Army!+++

Who would be leaping into this maelstrum of Adeptus Astartes on a bender!? To a cry of a stat line of 3's, armour made essentially of last weeks newspapers, guns taken from the planatariums light emmiters and given the courage of (if you last longer than five minutes you get a coffee voucher!), in come the Guard. Not just any Imperial Guard, but the heavily converted and laboured over Skitarii Binary 212nd. Note the metal limbs and cybernetics. Effect in game? None. Really, I mean none. Carapace upgrades as Veterens will be discussed in another chapter, when I can bulk out the reasoning of: 10PT GUARDSMEN!? ARE YOU MAD!? GOOD DAY SIR!! I SAID GOOD DAY!!

The over equiped Stratagos (Read: History nerd for Company Commander). Armed with Bolter, power weapon etc. Though for this game I gave him nothing. (I did explain this to Rory, but I suspect he didnt care as a guardsmen with a power weapon still hits like a Twilight fan.)

Damn flash! Behind the lazy ratlings, you can see the first product of our "paint it, use it" rule. Lovely buggers, sculpted before the addition of computer aided model makeyness. Shit tons of detail. Thank any gods you love for Badab Black! Got another squad todo, but can't decide if Ill cop out and make them Inquisitorial or get stuck in and make another squad of white and greens.

Hate the flash. Got a good friend who will be bringing a tripod toting SLR cam for the next game. Yay for Tristan! This is Veteren Serg Kellun 1. Named because of a heroic incident in the battle and martyred because of it. Next time he will be downloaded into another Skitarii frame designated Kellun 1.1. He is currently based of Vista, though we hope to be upgrading him with Win 7 soon. :D

Getting serious now, and trying my best to ignore the bad cam action (gosh that sounds rude, must edit that later...). Overview of the Skitarii Binary 212nd. Defense force of the planet Myceen and generally bolt catchers for the very sneeky escape plans used by the resident Magos Radley (Who runs away alot, we decided).

Bit blurry, but note the choice of two platoons of three, two walking ...basalisks (the twins), a demolisher to finish the demanded ordenance, rough riders and ratlings (why did I bother?) and a lone Armoured Sentinel with Lascannon (Read ratlings).
Oh and the Storm Troopers, a recent addition.

Side view of my guys, a little better. Seriously needed a better camera for this but you can already see one problem. Not enough troops against his tac hoard! Though the equiped weapons were pretty average, one platoon command squad did have the plasma gun festival of "please dont roll a one."


The Board. (so great it gets it own chapter thing!)

Now as I may or may not of said. We are starting in the main, from scratch. Relying on Rorys space (which was his open plan kitchen table, his girlfriend securly grumbling from the next room -sorry Suzanne x), we set up using what we had, each moment caught between telling ourselves how great and old school it was and promising something better.





Now, avoiding the use of powerpoint to technically add on the details of the board and of the location of the four objective markers I will simply explain. Firstly, for this battle report, my left and right will be used, in the commentary. Also, for those of you in mid stoner or drunk or if you are lucky, both, I will explain that my centre is also his centre and thus doesnt require much messing. Still with me there on the bean bag? Good.

What mission did we roll? Dawn of War. Fantastic computer game that, not like DOW 2, no no. But what did that mean in the actual proper game? In a word? Escalation. Night fight on turn one, deploying limitied troops and HQ, while the rest rolled on from your edge during your first turn. Disasterous for those of us with Heavy Weapons. The lucky roller would get to push their opponents back with aggresive deployment. Sounds good. A plan was forming, which is rare. The days of winging it slowly being left behind. Yippee!

Objective Marker 1- Left Flank, grey ruined building.
Objective Marker 2- Amidst the ruins of the crashed Aquila.
Objective Marker 3- In the open ground "kill zone" between the swamp and a small ruin.
Objective Marker 4- Right Flank, sitting atop the large Imperial Firebase.

Here was the plan. Starting with a strong presence of my large Troops choices and my ever present order giving HQ command, I would deploy aggresivly and push the Space Marines back, moving up and sitting tight, playing the Guards strentgh in defence while my big stuff rolled on. Storm Troopers sitting in reserve while the ratskins grumbled because they couldnt infiltrate straight into scenery. Jerks.
Both Basalisks would come on the left flank, being in a good kill corridor across the length of the board and against anything coming on the left. Demolisher would right flank while the rest would wait to leap down the centre if needed.

Well..... that was the plan.